


The Language of Our Love

by clarecas



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 118, 3x06, 9-1-1 Season 4, Angst, Bottom!Buck, Boyfriends, Firefighter, Fluff, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Love Languages, M/M, Romance, Sassy!Buck, Top!Eddie, ana is mentioned but not relevant, buddie, but also arousal, can't write smut so this is it kid, chaotic bisexual, finished this after a ten hour shift so i hope it's okay, jinx, soft dom, subpower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29778234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarecas/pseuds/clarecas
Summary: Eddie doesn't give his sub the proper aftercare so Buck takes matters into his own hands.Written in the context of 3x06.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 7
Kudos: 263





	The Language of Our Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written in the context of 3x06 because we all know this is how it really went down.
> 
> Spanish phrases are from Google Translate. I apologise in advance for any inaccuracies, if you'd like to kindly let me know.

This was punishment. It had to be.

Eddie knew from the moment Buck first scoffed and demanded he answer using the correct terminology that Eddie was in for a long shift.

The reason? Well, denying your sub the one thing he wanted at three o’clock in the morning was bound to ruffle some feather. Especially when the sole reason for rejection was blamed on something as inconsequential as working early hours the next day.

“Eddie, c’mon,” Buck groaned from his position at the end their bed. He seemed unfazed by the glowing digits of the alarm clock that affirmed it was way too late to be taking a bath together. “You promised if you got me dirty, you’d clean me again.”

“It’s past three o’clock in the morning, Buck. Just take a shower.”

“It’s in my hair. You know how I feel about that.”

“Mm hmm,” was Eddie’s sleepy response. He’d collapsed on the bed ten minutes ago and sleep was quickly overcoming him. Even if what he and Buck had just done together wasn’t enough to wear him out, coming off a twenty-four hour shift certainly was.

His boyfriend whined from somewhere near the edge of the bed. “Eddie, you promised.”

“You’re the one who wanted to go three more rounds when we have an early shift in the morning.”

“But you’re the one who refuses to do anything unprofessional at work. What else am I supposed to do when you’re not gonna touch me for the next twenty four hours?”

“ _Voy a asesinar a este niño._ ” Eddie muttered before rolling over. The room was dark but he could hear Buck shifting nearby. “Buck, I’m exhausted. We both don’t have time for this tonight. If you want to shower, do it by yourself or do it tomorrow morning at the station. I’m going to sleep.”

There was a clip in Buck’s tone when the other man spoke, “I’m not a toy, Eddie. You don’t just toss me aside once I’m no longer useful to you.”

Eddie sighed then. Rolling over, he softly patted the empty spot beside him. “I’m sorry, love. That’s not what I meant. Come to bed and I’ll make it up to you our next day off.”

Buck’s snort said he was less than impressed with the dom’s attitude. Eddie understood the edge to his voice but was too far gone with sleep to process it fully. Between work, parenting and keeping his boyfriend satisfied, comprehension skills were far beyond him at this hour.

There was a distant scoff. “Whatever.”

Eddie heard Buck moving around in the dark some more. He was gone like a light before he ever learnt if the other man returned to bed.

Several hours later, Eddie knew the exact reason Buck was bossing him around. And he wasn’t here for it.

It was no secret Evan Buckley had a mouth on him. Eddie actually loved his smartass of a boyfriend and found the trait endearing, but it had never been directed toward him when it came to _them_.

Buck’s sass was tolerated in the firehouse because there was humour behind it. Yes, it had gotten the better of him at times and caused more harm than good but everyone knew that was never the man’s intention and he was willing to learn from his mistakes.

Buck loved making people laugh. To make them smile and forget how dark the world could be if only for a second. That’s who he was. The crew were his family and they understood more than anyone his reasons to be verbally expressive. Eddie did too, but not like this. Not when it came to the two of them.

In six blissful months of calling Buck his, there had never been a dynamic problem between them, but lately something had been emboldening the sub to become more defiant. His playfulness - already at its peak - had increased a tenfold and Buck was more mischievous than ever, teasing Eddie with every opportunity that arose as if daring the dom to put him in his place.

Eddie wasn’t stupid. He knew their power dynamic was strictly under bedroom circumstances only. Buck was and always would be his equal both as a partner, friend and co-worker. They didn’t bring the roles out with them in public and didn’t enforce them on one another. Buck knew this, so why the hell was he so keen on testing Eddie now?

Buck stood with his clipboard to Eddie’s left. Everything from his rigid stance to the slight inclination of his head to the curl of his upper lip screamed rebelliousness. Eddie didn’t know what had caused the sudden rush of temerity but he wasn’t enjoying being on the receiving end of it.

Because, as passive aggressive it was for Buck to challenge Eddie’s dominance in public, he looked extremely hot doing it and Eddie was quickly learning that a sub defying authority was one of his biggest turn ons.

Eddie didn’t know which he was attracted to more. That cocky smirk on his boyfriend’s face, the single arched eyebrow or the fact that every word falling from his mouth was drenched with sarcasm whenever forcing Eddie to verbally correct himself. Buck was attractive already, but Buck with an edge was hot as fuck.

“AED?” Buck demanded.

Eddie bit his lip. “Yeah.”

Buck cleared his throat.

Eddie’s cock absolutely did not twitch. “Check.”

Buck clicked his tongue and went back to his clipboard. “That’s what I thought.”

They couldn’t do this. Whatever was happening, Eddie had to find a way to reign Buck in. He didn’t know what had spurred this particular streak of rebellion but they couldn’t afford to hash it out at work in a professional environment.

Eddie ransacked his thoughts while completing the next item on Buck’s list. Nothing in particular stood out to him over the past week. They’d gone to dinner twice, watched The Secret Life of Pets with Christopher (Eddie’s attempt at subduing his son’s pleas for a dog), Skyped together with Eddie’s parents, and last night Eddie had been reminded once again just how much he loved Buck with the latter’s body beneath him, pure symphonies falling from his lips as they moved together as one. Eddie had been so tired last night he’d practically passed out straight after.

If the faces Eddie was making or the noises Buck was producing were any indication, it couldn’t be the sex so Eddie moved on through his mental catalogue.

Today’s morning routine was no different than usual. They’d showered, dressed, eaten and taken Christopher to school. Buck was quieter than usual but he’d still been high on an adrenaline rush coming off their last call and full of energy all night. Eddie assumed the late night had finally caught up to him when Buck’s turned his head away to lean against the car window.

Now, however, Buck was wide awake and alert with authority. Eddie could’ve only known the reappearance of Fire Marshall Buck was the beginning.

From the man stuck to a billboard to an octopus crawling through an air vent and right down to missing every opportunity to eat, Buck met every one of Eddie’s comments with a retort of his own. Eddie thought maybe he was acting out after Eddie ran into Christopher’s old English teacher, Ms. Flores, on the street that morning but Buck was working elsewhere at the time and nothing had happened.

Even if Buck hadn’t seen Eddie talking to Ana, it didn’t stop him from firing verbal missiles at Eddie any chance he got. Whether it was a roll of the eyes or a “yeah, definitely not jinxed” or the scathing look any time Eddie’s pessimism got the better of him, eight hours in, Eddie had had enough.

They were trapped in the fire engine, electricity crackling around them. Every uncanny call they’d responded to had been attributed to the godforsaken jinx majority of the 118 believed they were under. It was bad enough that Hen and Chimney fed the conspiracy off one another, but they’d pulled Buck into it and now Eddie was the subject of ridicule any time he spoke out against their ludicrous superstitions.

‘Seriously’, Eddie thought to himself, eyes pinched shut and he listened to Chimney drone on about ringing bells to lift the curse. Live wires crackled outside his window. ‘Do they really not hear how inane this sounds?’

Buck was questioning Chimney on the obscurity of how many times to ring the bells and Eddie resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Hen was contemplating whether they were really experiencing a jinx rather than a curse. Even Bobby, of all people, had superstitions about the godforsaken Q word. It was only when conversation drifted to appeasing the EMS gods and Buck researching human and animal sacrifices that Eddie reached his boiling point.

“Oh Dios mío.” he snapped. “Do you guys not hear how ridiculous you sound?”

The others’ heads snapped up in synchrony as they fixed their stares on him. Eddie didn’t back down. “This is just a bad day. There’s no such thing as a jinx or a hex and there is certainly no EMS gods watching over us expecting a sacrificial ritual just so we can sit down and eat for five minutes. Give it a rest.”

Chim was the first to speak. “What more proof do you need, Eddie?” He gestured at the engine around them. “There are clearly forces at work here.”

"Power lines fall down all the time, Chim."

“The octopus crawling through an air vent?”

“You heard them say there was a sushi restaurant next door.”

“And the man who duct-taped himself to a billboard and fell before we could reach him? You think these things just happen all the time?”

“Yes!” Eddie proclaimed. “We get strange calls all the time! Do you guys really not hear yourselves right now?”

“Do you?” Buck piped up. “It’s like the universe is screaming at you and you refuse to listen.”

Hen, Chimney and Bobby blew past it but Eddie didn’t miss the hint of animosity in Buck’s tone. He’d been on the receiving end of it all day because as it turned out, the checklist had only been the beginning. Buck’s demeanour had done a complete one-eighty since the beginning of shift.

When they spoke, it was short. When they stared, it was fleeting. The laughter they’d shared in the party shop had been warm but brief. Buck and Eddie worked in harmony, always, but today Buck’s own melody was jilted. Eddie still hadn’t figured out what caused the change in Buck but he was really beginning to miss his sweet and loving boyfriend. They hadn’t even shared one stolen kiss between calls all of shift.

Which is why Buck’s latest backtalk had Eddie trying a new tactic. As they say, two could play this game. Maybe Buck was challenging Eddie but would he still respond to a Dom’s authority in public?

“Fine,” Buck was saying after Eddie’s latest comment. “You don’t worry about things you can’t control, but can you at least acknowledge that _something_ _is_ controlling the things you can’t control?”

Game. On.

Eddie sat up, boots landing on the truck’s floor with a heavy thud. He very deliberately fixed his gaze directly on Buck. “Like what? Huh? Gremlins? Boogeyman? Santa Muerte?”

He didn’t miss the way his boyfriend flinched at the sudden authority in Eddie’s tone. Buck’s eyes briefly dropped to the floor and Eddie had to hold back a smirk.

The medic narrowed his eyes. “We’ve had a crappy day. It happens. But it didn’t happen because of a curse or a hex or because someone said the word qu-“

His whole team reacted with panic but it was Bobby who said sharply, “ _Don’t_.”

“C’mon, Bobby.” Eddie twisted in his chair to face the front. “You really can’t believe in all this.”

Hen was quick to jump on the opportunity, questioning their Captain’s stance on being jinxed. Chimney and Buck were quick to follow her lead and the entire team held their breath as they waited for their Captain to respond.

Bobby eventually sighed. “Aren’t we all a little superstitious? People don’t like to walk under ladders, some buildings don’t have a thirteenth floor, we bless people after they sneeze. Some of us even wear a good luck charm around their neck.”

Chimney smirked as Eddie swivelled around in his seat, rising slightly. “That is not the same thing,” he growled, “it reminds me of Christopher, my son.”

“So, the same thing could be said for Buck’s hospital tag after his last surgery that sits on the chain beside it.”

Eddie’s mouth snapped closed. The rest of the 118 were staring at him in surprise, excluding Buck.

“That’s not-“ Eddie croaked out.

Bobby smiled gently in the rearview mirror. “You kept it after Buck’s last surgery because of what it symbolises, right? After all Buck has lived through and survived, you’re afraid to lose him. So you wear the tag because some part of you, no matter how small, believes it can counteract the bad luck.”

His crew was still watching him but Eddie only had eyes for one person, and their gaze was trained on the floor.

Buck was the only one who knew about the tag. Of course he did. After all, he’d been the one to give it to Eddie.

He’d been confused at first, wondering what could possibly be so appealing about a smelly, plastic hospital bracelet, but had softened when Eddie mumbled the real reason he wanted the band. Buck had met Eddie’s reasons with awe, pulling him in for a sweet kiss and promising he wasn’t going anywhere, but that Eddie could keep the hideous bracelet if it meant that much to him.

Now, the small tag had been sealed in a plastic coating with a hole punch. It sat on Eddie’s chain, next to Christopher’s medal, with Buck’s name displayed in bold letters across the front. A small but precious thing.

For all the words Eddie spoke about love and loss in that hospital room, Buck’s soft gaze as he listened spoke ten times more. Except, Buck wasn’t looking at him that way now. He wasn’t looking at Eddie at all.

Ignoring his crew’s looks of surprise, Eddie turned again in his chair and asked Bobby, “How did you know that?”

A flash of red appeared in his peripheral vision.

“Oh look,” was all Bobby said. He had that same quiet smile as always, “help has arrived.”

***

The station was quiet for the first time all day. Night had fallen a few hours ago and the team had scoffed down a mound of takeout before kicking back to relax with what borrowed time they had.

They scattered quickly. Some went to the bunks, others headed down to the gym to work off adrenaline highs from the day’s calls. Others set about cleaning the engine or relaxing on the sofas in the loft.

The jinx theory had died down for a while. After Eddie’s revelation in the truck, the situation had defused and no more comments had been thrown his way about not believing in curses or superstitions. To Eddie’s relief, that also meant that Buck’s attitude toward him had come to a grinding halt. Good thing too, because Eddie was exhausted.

They clambered out of the engine. When most of the crew had dispersed, Eddie sidled up to where Buck was stripping off his turnouts. He looked gorgeous with his hair messed up from his helmet and sweat glittering on his skin. Eddie subtly wrapped an arm around Buck’s waist and purred in his ear, “Wanna join me in my bunk, love?”

Eddie nearly stumbled when Buck shoved him away. “What the hell, Buck?”

The blonde scoffed. “In your dreams, Diaz.”

“What is your problem, man?”

Buck said with a mocking tone, “If you want to sleep, do it by yourself.”

Eddie frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Buck stayed silent, opting to shove his helmet on its rack in lieu of silent treatment.

Eddie hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay, clearly I’ve done something to upset you. Would you just tell me what it is so we can move on?”

“Upset?” Buck raised an eyebrow. “I’m not upset.”

“Clearly you are. You’ve been acting like a brat all day.”

The look Buck turned on him had even Eddie flinching this time. This wasn’t his gentle and loving boyfriend. Oh no, this was a smart-mouthed, confident man with a point to prove.

“If you think you’ve done something wrong, you should figure out what it was.” Buck said simply.

“So, I did do something.”

“If you say so.”

“Jesus, Buck.” Eddie scoffed. “Are you kidding? I don’t even know what I did wrong.”

“Then we have nothing to discuss.”

Buck started to walk away but turned on his heel at the last minute. “Oh, and one more thing.”

He stepped close to Eddie, bringing his mouth right next to his boyfriend’s ear. The smirk he wore was pure mutiny. “You should take a shower. You stink.”

He walked away then, leaving Eddie standing under a cloud of confusion in his wake.

***

The clock on Eddie’s phone read a quarter past eleven when he rolled out of his bunk. He’d been staring at the bed above him for an hour straight without being able to fall asleep once.

His footsteps echoed on the stairs as he climbed up to the loft. It was strangely silent, but Eddie understood why a moment later.

There were only four people in the loft. Bobby was in the kitchen, brewing a cup a coffee, and Chim, Hen and Buck were scattered on the chairs, noses buried in books.

“Thought you were hitting the bunks.” Bobby said at Eddie’s approach.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Maybe that curse is getting to you, too.”

Oh, here they went again.

Eddie took a bottle of water out of the fridge. “Or maybe I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Welcome to the club.” Chim said from where he sat at the table.

Eddie headed over to where his teammates were seated. “Am I interrupting book club?”

Without looking up from her book, Hen pointed out what each firefighter was reading. “Medical, babies, women.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow at the book in Buck’s hand. Bisexual or not, Buck had told Eddie early on in their relationship he had a tendency to lean more towards men. For someone with such a…hands on experience with both, it raised the question why he was reading about something he already had intimate knowledge of.

Remembering their conversation from earlier, Eddie opted to try his original tactic of goading his boyfriend. “I was wondering why Buck had a book in his hand but now it all makes sense.”

Chim laughed softly but Buck didn’t miss a beat. He lifted his head with an easy smile playing on his lips, gazing casually at Eddie. “Eddie, what would you say your love language is?”

Hen’s gaze flicked upward and Chimney stopped laughing. This time, the challenge in Buck’s tone was undeniable. Even Bobby turned around in the kitchen, the spoon he was stirring coming to a halt.

Eddie frowned. “My love language?”

Buck lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “They’re important.”

“Since when do you care about theories of intimacy?”

Hen’s book lowered slightly. Chimney’s eyes were fixated on his page but he was no longer reading. Bobby smiled behind the rim of his mug.

“Since I realised I’d been starved of it my whole childhood,” was Buck’s response, “and used meaningless sex as a way to cope without understanding the emotional repercussions my addiction would leave on my ability to express love.”

Eddie flinched slightly. Their firehouse family knew all of Buck’s emotional struggles and the steps he was taking to heal, but hearing the traces of lingering pain in his boyfriend’s voice never got any easier. It fuelled a fire in Eddie’s belly that made him want to burn the world down and shelter Buck from the blast. To destroy anything that could ever hurt Buck again.

Eddie swallowed slowly. “I don’t see how mine would offer any guidance.”

“Humour me.”

Eddie wracked his brain for an answer but came up empty. “I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe I’m-“

“ _Theoretically_ , there are five.”

The heat was rising in Buck’s voice, intended entirely for Eddie. The look on Buck’s face was soft but his words were clipped.

Eddie’s heart was racing so fast that he didn’t notice Hen, Chimney and Bobby exchanging subtle glances across the room with one another. All he could think about were Buck’s words, pulling his thoughts to a grinding halt.

“I-I don’t know.” Eddie said, trying to keep his voice stable.

“Do you want to know what mine is?”

“Buck, this is hardly the pla-“

“Touch.” Buck bowled over Eddie’s words without hesitation. “I understand love and affection through physical touch. Did you know that, Eddie?”

Hen tucked her face behind her book to stifle a laugh. Chimney was grinning down at the table, not daring enough to look up.

Eddie stared at the man he loved. His eyes lowered as he said quietly, “I know you.”

“I’d hope so.” Buck brought his boots to the ground and swung around in the armchair to face Eddie. “Because the book says failure to learn your partner’s love dialect shows you are not sensitive to their needs and don’t care about their perceptions of what is pleasant.”

“Buck, let’s not-“

“They don’t always have to be grand gestures.” Buck was reading from the book now. “Love touches may be implicit and only require a moment. Sounds pretty simple to me. Wouldn’t you say so, Eddie?”

It sounded like Hen was choking to his right. Bobby had gone to sit beside Chimney, both of them wearing quiet smiles.

Eddie scrambled to find words. “Maybe we should-“

Buck snapped the book shut loudly and rose to his feet. He strode past Eddie, barely avoiding checking his shoulder as he said, “It’d be a shame to think that one doesn’t care for their partner’s needs in a relationship. Especially when said partner goes out of their way to do exactly that every day because that’s what you do when you love someone.”

Buck crossed the loft, skipped down the stairs and was out of sight within seconds. His footsteps echoed on the concrete below before all that was left was tense silence.

A wheeze to his right had Eddie’s head snapping around. Hen made a wild gesture of apology. “I’m sorry,” she gasped, trying to contain her laughter. “It’s just-what did you do, Eddie?”

“Yeah,” Chim couldn’t help but crack a smile with his best friend. “It’s virtually impossible to rile Buck. The guy practically oozes sunshine.”

“Eddie,” Bobby said with his usual calm tone. He was the only one wearing an expression of worry. “Is everything alright between you two?”

Eddie sighed, glancing in the direction his boyfriend had gone. “He’s been acting weird all day. I don’t know what it is.”

“Did you do something to offend him?”

“That’s the thing,” Eddie ran a hand through his hair. “I have no idea. He wouldn’t say. There’s nothing I can recall though.”

“Maybe it’s all this jinx stuff?”

“Oh, please don’t start again.” Eddie begged. “It started before that. No matter what I do, Buck has a go at me for it. I can’t figure out why.”

“Did something happen with Christopher?” Hen offered.

Eddie shook his head. “No, those two are thick as thieves. Pretty sure they’re conspiring against me half the time.”

Chim huffed out a laugh. “That’s totally gonna happen to me when the baby arrives.” Then, “Maybe he saw you talking to Chris’ teacher earlier?”

“It couldn’t have been that. Buck was already acting different before shift started. Besides, nothing happened. She was injured. I just put gauze on it.”

“Well, what happened after you guys went home last night?”

“Nothing bad that I can think of. We went grocery shopping, picked up Christopher, came home and had dinner, put Chris to bed around nine and then watched a movie.”

“Netflix and Chill?” Hen wiggled her eyebrows.

Eddie shook his head fondly, before, “Maybe.”

“Any problems?”

“Never.”

Hen frowned. “Are you sure?”

Eddie returned her expression. He wasn’t particularly comfortable talking about their sex life in public, even if it was with the 118. Professional standards aside, it was something only for Buck and Eddie. “Yes. Why?”

“Look,” Hen threw her hands up. “I’m not about to say there’s a problem if there isn’t one.”

“But you basically just did.”

Hen opened her mouth again but Chimney cut in. “Sex is Buck’s most open form of communication. It’s probably why he used to be so addicted to it.”

“Chimney!” Hen exclaimed. “That is not what I’m saying at all.”

“Can you tell me I’m wrong.”

“No,” Hen said pointedly, “but we know Buck. What’s come to light with his parents lately only proves the theory that he seeks validation as a form of affection. Without it, he feels vulnerable.”

“We’ve never had that issue,” Eddie said. “He knows how I feel about him.”

“Have you told him that recently?” Chimney asked.

Eddie thought back to the previous night. He’d muttered the words over and over again as the couple became most vulnerable with one another. Eddie let the phrase fall from his lips like a prayer over and over again, as though he could burn the words into Buck’s very skin so he’d never feel unloved again.

“Yes.” He told Chim. “Everyday.”

Hen held up a finger then. “Hang on. What did Buck say just before he left? Touch is his physical form of love.”

“He likes physical contact. I’ve never stopped him from doing that.”

Hen shook her head. “Not like that, Eddie. That’s not what it means. When someone understands love through physical touch, it means receiving it. Not giving it.”

“But we do that too?”

Chimney nodded slowly. “Right. That’s how they communicate. No wonder Buck used to be so sex-crazed.”

Hen rolled her eyes at her best friend before focusing back on Eddie. “You take care of him, right?”

“Of course.” Eddie said, slightly defensive. “Whatever he needs.”

“So, you know the physical act itself isn’t enough?”

Eddie frowned then. “What do you mean? You said it’s the most open line of communication for someone who enjoys physical contact.”

Hen nodded. “Yes, but it’s about the intimacy too. Letting yourself be most vulnerable with someone and trusting them to take care of you. That trust needs to hold out until the very end.”

“It does.” Eddie argued. “We usually cuddle and-“

“Usually?”

Hen and Chim were both watching him with curious stares. Bobby seemed content to stay out of the conversation for now.

Eddie cleared his throat. “I mean, last night I was exhausted. Our shift was chaos and then Chris wanted to make paella for dinner so we had to go grocery shopping and-“

“Edmundo,” Hen warned. “You do know Buck, don’t you?”

He frowned. Buck had been Eddie’s best friend long before they were partners. “Of course I do.”

“So, you see how that boy is stupidly and hopelessly in love with you.”

A blush was creeping onto Eddie’s cheeks but he wrestled it down. “I suppose.”

“Great. So, what would make Buck turn away from you if he loves you so much?”

Eddie sighed. “It was just one night, okay? Like I said, I was exhausted and probably not great company. Buck and I were alone, Chris had gone to bed and I fell asleep after-“

“Aha!” Chimney let out something akin to a battle cry. “That’s it!”

“What?”

“You fell asleep after?” Hen questioned.

“Well, it’s not like the moment wasn’t over. We-“

“Ah,” Hen hummed, now wearing a knowing smile. “But it wasn’t. At least not for Buck.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Eddie,” she sighed.

“Alright.” Bobby placed his now-empty mug on the table. His smile was right but embedded with a hint of empathy. “Eddie, listen. As your Captain, I can’t endorse this conversation in a professional environment. But as a friend, I will say that you know Buck better than probably anyone. You know he’s different than most people.”

“I know, and I love him for that.”

Bobby nodded, holding up a hand. “I know. I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just saying that Buck needs to be cared for a little differently than the rest of us. He’s not fragile, but he’s been through things in two decades that most people don’t experience in a lifetime.”

“So, what are you saying?”

Bobby’s gentle smile returned. “I’m saying, think about how Buck expresses love compared to how he receives it. Maybe that should clear a few things up.”

Eddie’s eyes suddenly widened in understanding. He was running before he knew it, calling over his shoulder as he flew down the stairs, “Thanks, Cap!”

“Those boys are going to be the death of me, I swear.” Hen muttered from somewhere above. Chimney laughed in agreement.

Eddie reached the bunk area within seconds. The room was dark with most adjoining doors closed but Eddie knew which bunk his boyfriend usually slept in.

He was reaching for the first door on the left before he could think. It swung open quietly.

Buck was standing in the middle of the small room, pulling a fresh T-shirt over his head as he turned. “Eddie?”

“I’m an idiot.” Eddie blurted out.

Buck raised an eyebrow but Eddie wasn’t finished. Kicking the door shut with a soft thud, he walked further into the room until he stood right before Buck.

“Last night,” he started, “you showed me once again how much you love me and I thought I did the same. It turns out, I was only saying it the way I understand, not you. But I get it now.”

Buck crossed his arms over his chest, head jerking upwards slightly. “And what do you get?”

Eddie shook his head. “Words aren’t enough for you. When we first got together, you handed me the pieces of your heart without question, no matter how vulnerable you felt.”

Buck’s gaze dropped to the floor.

Eddie continued on. “I didn’t understand how truly precious the thing I was holding in my hands was until I let it slip through my fingers. You’re not Shannon, Buck. And last night I forgot that when I neglected you by falling asleep straight after.”

Buck stared at him for a long while. For a moment, Eddie thought he’d got it all wrong. That Buck would hear Eddie’s words and throw them back in his face with the same challenge he’d been presenting all day.

There was challenge, but it was more of a reminder.

Buck’s stare was hard. “I’m not mad you fell asleep, Eddie.”

Eddie frowned. “You’re not?”

Buck shook his head. “No, I’m not.”

“Then, what is it?”

Buck turned his head to the side, glaring at the wall.

“Please talk to me.” Eddie whispered.

Buck’s stare was colder when it met Eddie’s eyes again. “I’m not mad that you fell asleep. I’m mad that you can tell me you love me but not understand what it means. I’m mad that you can understand my desires, but not my needs. I’m _mad_ that you can’t spend _ten_ minutes of aftercare with me but can laugh and smile at Christopher’s teacher like time doesn’t matter.”

“Ana Flores?” Eddie’s eyes widened. “That’s what you’re mad about? How do you even know that?”

“I was on the ladder, Eddie. I could see the entire street.”

“Love, she needed help. That’s our job.”

“Is it your job to look at her like she hung the stars?”

“I don’t do that.”

“God, Eddie.” Buck threw his hands up. “You don’t even know, do you?”

“What are you _talking_ about?”

Buck’s anger simmered for a moment longer before his handsome features collapsed with sadness. He sighed, answering quietly, “I’m your partner, Eddie. Me. The one who makes you coffee in the morning and reads to your son before bed. I’m the one who wakes up in your arms after kissing you goodnight. I’m the one moaning your name while you tell me you love me in the bed we share together. So, how am I supposed to feel when I see you gushing over some English teacher when you couldn’t be bothered to spend ten minutes taking care of me the night before?”

Eddie had been riled for a fight, to urge that Ana meant nothing to him, but Buck’s words had the argument dying in his throat.

“Baby,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you felt that way.”

“It’s not the first time, Eddie.” Buck’s face fell. “I get that we’re equals but in our bedroom it’s just you and me and the love we have for one another shows in different ways. Subs need aftercare, Eddie. Always.”

“I though you liked cuddling?”

“I like _you_ , Eddie!” Buck cried. The blonde threw his hands up, pacing the room before stopping and pinching his nose.

Buck sighed as he met Eddie’s eyes. “I like being wrapped in your arms. I like laying my head on your chest to hear your heartbeat and how it’s so in sync with mine. I like when we shower and you wash my hair and kiss the back of my neck because you know I’m ticklish there.”

Buck shook his head. “Out here, we’re equals. Partners. But we’re more than that when it’s the two of us. I understand you’re a dominant person Eddie, but I’m a package deal. Not just the sex but the way we share the moment till the very end. I never had that with anyone before you but in order to heal, I must learn what I need. I’m not some toy you can just toss aside when it’s no longer useful.”

Eddie was quiet for a long time. Then, “You’re right.”

Buck seemed startled. “What?”

“You’re right. That’s what you need, and I didn’t listen when you were trying to tell me that.”

“Yeah well,” Buck mumbled. “It’s not like I didn’t try.”

“Is that why you’ve been so sassy all day? Talking back and trying to rile me up?”

Buck shrugged but there was confidence beneath it. “I wanted you to know what it was like when somebody didn’t give you what you needed.”

The tension was leaving the room now, replaced with a different kind of heat. Eddie took a step forward. “Yeah? It didn’t work.”

And Buck, ever so confident and smart mouthed in everything he did, swallowed nervously. “Why not?”

“Because,” Eddie stopped right before the other man. They were chest to chest when he growled lowly, “you being bossy and so damn defiant is a real fucking turn on.”

“Really?” Buck breathed slowly.

“Really.” Eddie’s hand snaked up Buck’s chest and coiled around his chin, pulling his head down with a rough jerk. “And when your sub has been mouthing off to you all day in public, it really builds up a lot of tension.”

“Is that so?”

“Damn right.” Eddie growled. His hand curled into Buck’s hair, tugging the blonde curls a little more forcefully. “Especially when he looks so fucking hot doing it.”

“Yeah?” Buck asked, and a smirk was beginning to spread across his face. He pulled his head back slightly, eyeing Eddie with a daring look. “What are you gonna do about it then?”

“I’m going to put you in your place.”

“I thought you were against doing anything at work.”

“This isn’t work.” Eddie said, hands moving down to tug on the bottom of Buck’s shirt. “This is divine retribution.”

“Thought you didn’t believe in the curse?”

“No,” Eddie agreed as he slowly leaned in, scraping his teeth against Buck’s neck. “But maybe I believe in punishment for sin.”

“Love the sinner, hate the sin, right?”

“Everything about that mouth of yours is sinful.”

Eddie went in the for kill. Pulling his boyfriend down by his shirt, he caught Buck’s mouth in a hungry kiss. Buck’s nails dug into Eddie’s back and the older man groaned lightly.

They were moving before either knew it. The back of Buck’s legs hit the wooden bed frame and their kiss broke.

“I’m all for this,” Buck said, eyes glazed over. “But are you sure you want to do this now?”

Eddie let go of his dominance for a moment. As badly as he wanted to put his sub in place for misbehaving all day and bringing their roles out in public, if he didn’t, Buck would never believe that Eddie was sorry. That he’d been listening to Buck and acknowledging what his boyfriend needed out of their relationship.

“I never want you to feel like you’re misunderstood.” Eddie said honestly. “I made a promise to you months ago that on top of being your boyfriend, I’d still be your best friend who you could trust with anything. That’s where the best part comes in.”

“Which is?”

“Because from both sides, you trust me with your heart. And I will never mistreat it again.”

Buck smiled at him and it was like looking into the sun. “I love you.”

Eddie kissed him again. He whispered softly against his boyfriend’s skin, “Let me show you how much I love you, the way you need.”

Buck grinned and let himself fall back on the bed, letting Eddie do just that. And right at the end, when Eddie lay with Buck in his arms, their legs tangled in the firehouse’s stiff sheets, Eddie thought back on all the moments that had led to this one. All the ways in which he and Buck had been slowly entwining with one another before they even called it love. The answer was obvious.

Eddie turned his nose into Buck’s sweaty hair. He craned his neck to kiss Buck’s forehead before whispering something as true as the love he had for the man in his arms.

“My love language is touch too.”


End file.
